Holla at me my special lil fook ups,

Tonight i'd like to introduce the most important disabled person in my life, well, the only disabled person in my life, Ms Frithtifer Barry Reeves the 2nd.  Frith Reeves n I 1st met each other roughly 4 months ago. the story begins like this:

It was a typical saturday morning, im laid 1 leg in, 1 leg outta bed with my hang on my crotch... gently caressing, when i hear a knock at the door. Thinking it was a courier with my combined purchase of a rawhide gimp mask and a heart shaped merkin from ebay, i jumped outta bed, put my kegs on inside out and rushed to the door. I signed for the package and pooped with excitement as i ripped open the badly packaged box. Just as i was almost there i droped it due to my hands being all sweaty and it made a noise as it hit the floor. I opened it slowly and what i saw med me sick. I can only describe what i found as a fully fledged retard equiped with slightly ajar dribbling mouth. The bottom the box was wet through, im surprised the lil freak dint fall out of the bottom of the box. Now wots a man to do with a box full of contorted cripple? any1? any ideas? well, ill tell u, i did the only kind thing i could do...well, b arsed to do.  I rang a tree surgeon and when he arrived i threw the body in the wood chipper. The first attempt wasn't entirely successfully, the body was wriggling and covered from head to toe in salivia of the worst kind, so she slipped outta ma hands n landed on the floor with all the wood chippings stuck to her. 

Anyway, to cut a long story short, i went home to send an email asking where my gimp mask was when the doorbell went. I opened it and found a jiffy bag on step with soggy corners. Frithtifer was back. Ever since then we've kinda bonded. I stuff her in the laundry basket wen im home n wen im out i let her play... in the laundry basket. Over the weeks I began to educate her and shes gotten quite a nack for my space. 2nite i watched as she randomly tapped my keyboard in such a manor that i now have media player on here aswell as a funky ass title. so, a big shout out to my special friend, i like u frith, u make all my clothes smell nice!

Please help frith by clicking on the link to the right and checking out her space. maybe even consider donating some money so we can buy her a new bib or a plastic blanket!!

Peace hootrats! xxxx

Followed by

This lovely tale by Dazlet

haha great story, me n frithtifar reeves met a while ago, she went under an alias back then of "the frith element" she was the leader of the attick monkeys resistance movement when they launched a surprise attack on my rebel band of blue magnetic ants, a battle ensued in the pentium 1 graveyard, them armed with bleach powered jockstrap spearguns and us using our trusty handheld novelty chocolate butt plugs, well to cut a gruelling 31minutes and 43 seconds long war short, there were many fatal deaths leaving just my wartorn self and the mangled frith element laying in the centre of the battlefield, my weapon slowly melted in my hand as i gazed into her eye that had popped out and rolled into my severed belly button at that moment we both suddenly realised that an icecream van full of tibbetan leatherclad gnu's had pulled up and was offering us both the chance to join forces with them and take over the world, we refused and just bought a 99 with an extra flake in it to share and agreed never to fight again.